J: Uma, let me check your hands. You didn't use a washcloth or rinse them, so they're probably still sticky from maple syrup.
Uma: But I licked them!

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posted by Ketan @ 4/11/2010 09:16:00 AM   0 comments

"I walk slowly when I'm dressed pretty because when I'm dressed pretty I feel like I'm up on a stage and I walk slowly because I'm shy." This while walking to the car in the garage.

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posted by Ketan @ 1/31/2010 06:34:00 PM   0 comments

"Even though you've lost some of your teeth Mommy, everyone still loves you."

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posted by Ketan @ 12/19/2009 12:14:00 PM   0 comments

"Who will be my uncle when Uncle Graham becomes a fireman?"

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posted by Ketan @ 12/13/2009 09:06:00 PM   0 comments

Me: Who's there?
Uma: Nobody.
Me: Nobody who?
Uma: Nobody apple banana.

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posted by Ketan @ 11/21/2009 07:28:00 PM   0 comments

"Daddy, guess what I'm thankful for? .... Kieran and butterflies!"

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posted by Ketan @ 11/20/2009 07:05:00 PM   0 comments

"I am happy every day. Except some days I'm not happy."

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posted by Ketan @ 10/30/2009 07:11:00 PM   0 comments

Uma: I'm going to surprise you
[comes running]
Uma: Boo! Were you surprised?
Me: Well, I knew you were coming, so I wasn't surprised.
Uma: Don't know!

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posted by Ketan @ 10/23/2009 09:33:00 PM   0 comments

Me: What is a brother?
Uma: A boy who has a sister.
Me: So what is a sister?
Uma: A girl who is very nice to a little boy.

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posted by Ketan @ 10/19/2009 09:16:00 AM   0 comments

"Kieran, did you just think about something in your head?"

Apropos of nothing, she just asked out of nowhere.

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posted by Ketan @ 10/17/2009 08:33:00 AM   0 comments

Me: Don't be a stinker [i.e., brat].
Uma: I will try not to stink.

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posted by Ketan @ 10/12/2009 08:13:00 AM   0 comments

Upon telling Uma that I was going to drive about 10-15 minutes to get to the dentist, she said, "remember to try not to pee in the car. You'll get cavities in the car."

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posted by Ketan @ 10/07/2009 08:23:00 AM   0 comments

Excerpts from Uma's side of the conversation:

"Who will be the daddy in this house when I'm all grown up?"

"Will Kieran be the daddy?"

"I want him to be the daddy because he is my friend."

"I want to live with him even when I'm a grownup."

Awwww.

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posted by Ketan @ 9/26/2009 09:43:00 PM   0 comments

Mommy: Let's see what's going on in his diaper.
Uma: There's a playground in his diaper!

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posted by Ketan @ 9/15/2009 07:51:00 AM   0 comments

This afternoon Uma noticed I had changed shirts.

Uma: Mommy, I don't think that shirt looks as sweet with those shorts.
Me: Should I wear a different shirt?
Uma: Um, no, but that shirt doesn't look as special. Don't worry, though, I still love you. But I think my outfit is prettier than yours.

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posted by Jessica @ 9/14/2009 04:38:00 PM   0 comments

Uma: Will I have to put these clothes in the hamper?
Me: Well, those shorts look pretty shabby to me.
Uma: They don't to me, and I don't know what shabby means.

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posted by Ketan @ 9/13/2009 07:48:00 AM   0 comments

Pretending to talk on the phone to mommy: "I really like you."

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posted by Ketan @ 9/12/2009 03:59:00 PM   0 comments

"Kieran is a pretty boy, but he's not as pretty as I am."

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posted by Ketan @ 9/11/2009 08:22:00 AM   0 comments

During a much-needed rainstorm that started just 5 minutes ago:

"Look at how green the bush is getting!"

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posted by Ketan @ 9/04/2009 06:16:00 PM   0 comments

Uma: Kieran, do you want to be best friends with me?
Kieran: Huh.
Uma (delightedly): Kieran wants to be best friends with me! I asked Kieran if he wanted to be best friends with me and he said "huh!"

...

Uma: I'm so glad that Kieran is a friend who lives with me.

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posted by Ketan @ 8/31/2009 09:08:00 AM   0 comments

"This air is pretty squishy."

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posted by Ketan @ 8/25/2009 06:08:00 PM   0 comments

"I like watching you fix things with batteries and screwdrivers and things. And nails."

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posted by Ketan @ 8/24/2009 09:44:00 PM   0 comments

"One time when I was with my stuffed animal friends at the Arboretum, we were getting chased by this huuuuuuge dinosaur that had six thousand hundred claw teeth. He was so scary his throat was so slippery, and he picked us up and we slid down his throat into his tummy. That always happens with dinosaurs like that."

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posted by Ketan @ 8/17/2009 09:09:00 AM   0 comments

"I wish I was Kieran. I would be so happy because then we'd never have to switch thoughts."

Uma seems to like to make her bizarre pronouncements in the car, which makes it tough to write things down. As a result, I haven't been able to quote her ruminations on mortality.

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posted by Ketan @ 8/16/2009 06:46:00 PM   0 comments

"The way you make marshmallows is you get some mud and put it on a stick, and that's how you make marshmallows."

This one was from April, but I forgot to click "Publish."

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posted by Ketan @ 8/10/2009 06:18:00 PM   0 comments

At dinner, Uma got down, covered with food, and came over to me.

Me: Uma did you just wipe your face on my shirt?
Uma: No, just my hands.

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posted by Ketan @ 8/07/2009 07:00:00 PM   0 comments

In the car, driving home:

Uma: I gave all my silliness to Kieran.
Me: So you're not silly anymore?
Uma: My body will make more silliness.
Me: What will you do with that?
Uma: I'll give it to Kieran, too.
Me: What if he's asleep?
Uma: I'll make it into a ball, and throw it gently into his room, and he'll breathe it in gently into his heart.
Me: What if you're at a sleepover?
Uma: My body will make the silliness into an airplane and loft it to Kieran.

Sounds like she's got all the bases covered.

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posted by Ketan @ 7/19/2009 08:40:00 PM   0 comments

As I was about to make a graham cracker + peanut butter sandwich for Uma, she said, "Make sure you put the back of the graham cracker touching the peanut butter because the front looks prettier." I can just imagine her contracts showing up on The Smoking Gun in 15 years when she's a touring pop diva.

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posted by Ketan @ 6/28/2009 01:26:00 PM   0 comments

"I can run backwards with my eyes closed."

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posted by Ketan @ 6/20/2009 11:33:00 AM   0 comments

"I dreamed I was in a school I really didn't like, and it was full of clowns."

Uma does not like clowns.

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posted by Ketan @ 6/16/2009 09:43:00 PM   0 comments

Me: Uma, you need to wash your hands for breakfast.
Uma: I already washed my hands.
Me: It's been too long; you need to wash them again.
Uma: It was just a couple days ago!

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posted by Ketan @ 6/13/2009 08:19:00 AM   0 comments

"Sometimes I feel like being mean to people, but then I have some water, and I feel nicer than I felt before."

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posted by Ketan @ 5/25/2009 03:20:00 PM   0 comments

Uma: You can call him [Kieran] "Little Daddy."
Mommy: I'm not going to call him "Little Daddy."
Uma: Then you can call him "Little Grandpa."

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posted by Ketan @ 5/23/2009 09:43:00 AM   0 comments

Re: a death

Me: They took her back to India.
Uma: What did they do with her after she died? Did they use her as a statue?

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posted by Ketan @ 5/14/2009 07:38:00 PM   0 comments

Mommy: Are those clothes dirty?
Uma: They are dirty. They are so dirty, they are bleeding.

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posted by Ketan @ 5/09/2009 10:02:00 PM   0 comments

"Eat your dinner, or I'm taking your face away."

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posted by Ketan @ 5/06/2009 10:16:00 PM   0 comments

We have two bathrooms, one of which is right next to Kieran's bedroom. I asked Uma to use the other one, but she expressed a strong preference for that one. When I asked her why, she said, "that bathroom is near Kieran, and I love Kieran even though he's asleep, so I want to use that bathroom."

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posted by Ketan @ 4/27/2009 07:50:00 PM   0 comments

"Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who lived in a tree. And they went out for a walk to see if they could find anything to climb on. And then as they were following along, they were following one red rooster. And the rooster 'bak bakked' at them. 'Cock a doodle dooo,' it crowed. And after that it was making to eat the pigs. But they ran away back into their tree, and then again they ate a dragon. And then the whole story was over but they went out for a fortune again. The end. I said 'the end.' Here lies an old dragon who really is sick."

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posted by Ketan @ 4/21/2009 05:58:00 PM   0 comments

"I'm four years old. I'm really proud of myself."

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posted by Ketan @ 4/19/2009 09:08:00 AM   0 comments

"The way you make marshmallows is you get some mud and put it on a stick, and that's how you make marshmallows."

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posted by Ketan @ 4/18/2009 06:18:00 PM   0 comments

"When I shook my head, I heard a noise from my hair."

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posted by Ketan @ 4/11/2009 08:13:00 AM   0 comments

"Can we keep our backyard when we move to the new house?"

"When we move to a new house, we should definitely have one with a playset.... but we can't take Evie's!"

No move is imminent, we've just been talking about what we want. And Uma has been listening, and thinking about what she wants.

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posted by Ketan @ 3/29/2009 08:59:00 AM   0 comments

Uma: I don't like your funny voices.
Me: You don't think they're funny? They don't make you laugh?
Uma: They make me feel like I want to cry.

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posted by Ketan @ 3/13/2009 07:05:00 PM   0 comments

"I'll go to bed very nicely if my duck has clothes."

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posted by Ketan @ 3/08/2009 08:56:00 PM   0 comments

"Would you like to lick the stuff off my fork?"

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posted by Ketan @ 2/19/2009 07:32:00 AM   0 comments

"I'm sneezing a lot. I sneezed two times yesterday, and two times just now."

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posted by Ketan @ 2/01/2009 09:14:00 AM   0 comments

"When I was a baby, I said 'Ma-ee Seh' [Molly Sadie]. It was so cute."

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posted by Ketan @ 1/31/2009 11:22:00 AM   0 comments

"Kieran is my best boy. I want to keep him."

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posted by Ketan @ 1/29/2009 08:30:00 AM   0 comments

"Don't throw up on us, Daddy."

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posted by Ketan @ 1/26/2009 04:18:00 PM   0 comments

"When little girls get very, very angry, they turn into little boys."

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posted by Ketan @ 1/25/2009 04:47:00 PM   0 comments

"You have to realize, Uma, that most of the time the thing that you're doing at any time is what you usually do at that time."

Uma's been saying a lot at lunch that "usually I'm taking my nap right now." I failed miserably at explaining why that's usually wrong.

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posted by Ketan @ 1/17/2009 01:02:00 PM   0 comments

"Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, one hundred!"

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posted by Ketan @ 12/20/2008 01:46:00 PM   0 comments

Uma has been sick for the last couple of days. Tending to her in the middle of the night, I said, "we'll do something fun tomorrow," thinking of the playground or something like that. Her idea? "We can pretend to be sick."

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posted by Ketan @ 11/29/2008 02:55:00 AM   0 comments

"My name is Friendly Uma, the Queen Lady."

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posted by Ketan @ 11/27/2008 07:28:00 PM   0 comments

"When I first saw red and blue, I didn't think they were my favorite colors. But now I like them."

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posted by Ketan @ 11/18/2008 07:16:00 PM   1 comments

Ever since Halloween, Uma has enjoyed saying "Boo!" and having me yell "Aaaah!" It's getting a little old. At dinner, I told her it wasn't working anymore, and I wasn't getting scared. So she tried something different: "You're scared!"

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posted by Ketan @ 11/05/2008 07:26:00 PM   0 comments

Jessica: Uma, do you want to see something?
Uma: No.

Admittedly, this was just after she woke up, but still... That usually works.

I guess "No" isn't much of a quote, and it's certainly not remarkable coming from a small child, but still...

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posted by Ketan @ 11/03/2008 11:30:00 AM   0 comments

"I want to be stinky all the time!"

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posted by Ketan @ 7/25/2008 07:40:00 PM   0 comments

"You see how I'm making this face? That means I'm still a little bit tired."

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posted by Ketan @ 7/07/2008 07:46:00 AM   0 comments

"That sign says no giraffes in the house."

"That sign says no cars going through yellow lights in a bad restaurant."

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posted by Ketan @ 5/24/2008 08:46:00 AM   0 comments

"... and when I am mad, I hit you."

That justification didn't hold up as well as Uma hoped.

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posted by Ketan @ 5/22/2008 10:11:00 PM   0 comments

"Little Uma is in my tummy. She is small and can't sit up. She will sit in my booster chair. She will come out at my next birthday." And more that I can't remember.

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posted by Ketan @ 5/05/2008 07:30:00 AM   0 comments

Just before entering the library, Uma told me, "I won't yell at the library this time."

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posted by Ketan @ 5/02/2008 05:54:00 PM   0 comments

"I'm not crying anymore. See? No tears are running down my cheeks."

We have no idea where she got that.

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posted by Ketan @ 4/28/2008 08:47:00 PM   0 comments

"You have a butt."

Uma would not be a very useful witness at a crime scene.

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posted by Ketan @ 4/22/2008 10:12:00 AM   0 comments

Me: What color are your eyes?
Uma: I haven't decided.
Me: What are you deciding?
Uma: What color are my eyes.
Me: Have you decided yet?
Uma: I decided they are brown.

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posted by Seema @ 3/22/2008 10:30:00 PM   0 comments

Me: "Don't hit Little Guy like that."
Uma: "But I want to do that!"

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posted by Ketan @ 3/19/2008 08:39:00 AM   0 comments

"I can't remember Caroline's name when I'm sad."

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posted by Ketan @ 3/17/2008 01:35:00 PM   1 comments

"I have a blue penis. My penis has stripeys."

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posted by Ketan @ 2/23/2008 08:27:00 PM   0 comments

Or as Uma calls them, "the Insane Bears." I like hers better

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posted by Ketan @ 2/01/2008 09:22:00 AM   0 comments

"I'm going to be Little Guy's mommy."

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posted by Ketan @ 1/24/2008 10:33:00 AM   0 comments

After seeing an airplane in the sky...

"The space shuttle is a baby. It is in the airplane's tummy because it is little."

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posted by Ketan @ 1/20/2008 09:30:00 PM   0 comments

"I am a little bit sad because in the middle of the night Daddy woke me up and I wanted to sleep."

That is totally not what happened!

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posted by Ketan @ 1/16/2008 10:04:00 AM   0 comments

Uma: I made a hole in the bread
... Uma plays with the bread ...
Me: Are you going to eat the bread?
Uma: No, there's a hole in it.

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posted by Ketan @ 1/13/2008 10:08:00 AM   0 comments

"Because I had too much air in my mouth because I was playing fire truck."

Clearly she has a mastery of physiology far beyond her years.

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posted by Ketan @ 1/12/2008 09:10:00 AM   0 comments

Uma: My pants are dirty.
Me: We can brush them clean.
Uma: I can just take off them.

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posted by Ketan @ 1/08/2008 08:43:00 PM   0 comments

"There are three kinds of apple: apple, apple sauce, and pineapple."

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posted by Ketan @ 1/06/2008 10:49:00 AM   0 comments